Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
