whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
