Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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