lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
