i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
