my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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