You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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