i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
