remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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