He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
