I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just googled if crying burns calories
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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