guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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