I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize