hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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