We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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