What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize