Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
