you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize