I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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