i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
