yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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