you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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