There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
