I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
