I bet he comes in French.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
