it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Sober January is a disaster.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
