She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
