Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
