Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
