dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
May the power of my ass compel you!!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
