I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
