we have officially lost it.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
