This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
