I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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