Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
