your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize