hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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