I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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