Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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