Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
