oh god the rape fog is back!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
