How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
