How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
