I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize