all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
