So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
