Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
