I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
