Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
