my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You need a sexual gate keeper
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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