I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
