This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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