apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize