Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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