Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize